Big Changes Part 1: Cross country move, miscarriage and answers

Whew. We did it!

We successfully moved across the country with a 15 month old, dog, and household of stuff. It’s been an incredibly hard, exhausting, exciting, and challenging spring so far and I don’t even know where to begin. So, I’ll just jump on in. This could get long, so I’m going to break it up into a 3 part series. You can read Part 2 and 3 Here and Here.

Pregnancy and Miscarriage

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We found out in early March that we were expecting baby #2! We were THRILLED! I always wanted my kids close together and I wanted to start working on #2 just in case we experienced any trouble (like the first pregnancy which ended in a miscarriage at 12 weeks). The timing was a bit insane, since we were prepping for a cross-country move May 7th, but we couldn’t wait to show up in California with a little stowaway! Well, things didn’t go as planned… do they ever?

First, at what we calculated to be our 8 week appointment (based on my last period), the baby was only measuring 5 weeks. Strange… but our dates could very well have been off since my cycle was nowhere near regular yet. Then, a week later we went back to find a 6 week baby with a little steady heartbeat! A bit slow, but the Doc figured it was just getting going.

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Baby’s heartbeat.

Whew, it felt like we were in the clear and everything from there on out would be the (relatively) uneventful, smooth, and healthy pregnancy I’d always dreamed of… then I saw the tiniest bit of blood the Friday before what would be our  8 week appointment (based on the new dates adjusted at the first appointment). Okay, I’ve spotted with both my previous pregnancies…. those went 50/50, miscarriage/live birth. I trusted my gut and got in that day to have the baby checked.

The baby’s heartbeat was gone. It had stopped developing sometime in the 6th week after we saw it last.

This couldn’t be happening.

I was in shock, disbelief, numb.

Another miscarriage.

Why?

All our plans for another little November baby (like the first we miscarried which was due Nov 2nd, this baby’s adjusted due date was November 15th) were crushed. It took 3 weeks of bleeding before I finally miscarried fully. I had worked from home for a week waiting to pass the baby, but ended up miscarrying in the office on my last day before leaving for our big move to California. April 23rd. Almost exactly 2 years after I miscarried my first baby.

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I packed away our Sister Bear and Baby bear shirts along with my hopes and dreams for these little siblings who would grow up so close in age. I pushed down the excitement for seeing Ziva as a big sister. I forced myself to see the silver linings this time around. At least I wouldn’t be having morning sickness and fatigue as I packed for the big move, at least I’d be able to lift things, at least, at least, at least…

I promise you, there was and is no silver lining that makes pregnancy loss of a wanted baby feel okay. There’s no silver lining good enough to replace the weight of a newborn in your arms, the kicks of a little growing baby, the joy of their first smiles, the love, the person they become. There just isn’t.

At least this time I had Ziva. At least this time I could hold her and find joy in her as she grows and changes… at least this time I know that I can survive, and life will go on, and eventually the sharpness of the pain dulls.

At least I was preparing to move back home where I could be close with my family and have a wide network of support for whatever the future holds. Our little family of 3 (4 with doggy Brinkley) would continue and move forward and move on, missing one more little angel.

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5 Reason why I LOVE being a coach


Why do I love being a coach?

1) Motivation. Knowing I have a team and clients to be accountable to keeps me on my game. I have to lead by example!

2) Friendship. The say your vibe attracts your tribe and it’s so true. The women on our team and the clients we help are such driven, giving people. They are people who are taking charge in their own lives and genuinely want to help others improve their health and overall well-being. Which leads to…

3) Helping people. That is the core of what a being a Beachbody coach is all about. We help people find a way to take charge of their health physically, which usually spreads into wellness in other areas of their lives. And the company itself is always giving back to the community in one way or another. Just in the month of January we helped raise TONS of money for Upward Bound House in Santa Monica to help get homeless families into housing for the year.

4) It’s not sales. When you’re offering a product and system you believe in, it becomes more than just sales. When someone does buy a Challenge pack or program, that isn’t the end of the deal. What you buy when you buy from a coach is a support system, cheerleader, troubleshooter, and motivator. We are here to help make sure you stay on your path to wellness and to ensure that you have the most success possible When I offer the Beachbody opportunity to my friends and family, I’m offering them a solution that I truly believe in. I’m offering products that have made my own life better. I don’t want to keep this to myself!

5) Extra Income. Long before I started with Beachbody I followed coaches on social media who inspired me. I found their lifestyles appealing and was inspired by their dedication to a healthy lifestyle and the freedom that coaching provided them. For some the financial freedom allows them to be full-time Work-at-home moms, for others it allows them the freedom to travel the world and explore the great outdoors. For me, it’s a little extra spending money. Whatever your goals are when you start a Beachbody business, it’s an awesome opportunity that can (with hard work, consistency and talent) give you the freedom to build a life of your own design.

If you’re curious what Beachbody coaching is all about I invite you to join my team this week in a private Sneak Peak into Coaching Facebook group. We have an amazing team and if you are interested in working from home and love health and fitness this just might be the gig for you too. If you’re curious about this whole coaching gig, send me a message here and I’ll get in touch! 

Sign me up for the 5 Day Sneak Peak!

5 weeks until…

Ziva Turns 1! 

10 months and 3 weeks done. Just like that, she’s almost 1. How did it go this fast?! While I’ve been busy working on my squats and side lunges, this little peach has been working on her walking skills. Any day now and she’ll be walking up and asking for what she wants LIKE A REAL BIG KID! Mind. Blown.

So, with that said I’ll share that the birthday planning has commenced! I always loved picking a theme for my birthdays as a child and I’ll admit this is something I’ve looked forward to doing with my own child for a long time. Of course, she doesn’t have much to say about things just yet… But that hasn’t stopped me!

I’d been debating between a rainbow  theme and a strawberry theme. I love what the rainbow represents (she is after all, our rainbow baby), and she brings us so much joy that the bright colors felt appropriate. But when it comes to Ziva’s sometimes blonde, sometimes strawberry-reddish hair and her berry-sweet cuteness (don’t let the saccharine sentiment gag you), I ultimately decided a “Berry 1st Birthday” is the one for her. 
So, after scouring Etsy, Pinterest, Amazon, and Oriental Trading Company, we have a theme!  

 

Looking Ahead 2016

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First, Looking back

2015. Wow, what a year. It’s probably obvious what made my year. Becoming Ziva Pearl’s mother is the most amazing, fulfilling, joy inducing experience I could have ever imagined. Seriously. Don’t hate me for saying it, but I’m in love with this mommy gig. We have had our rough patches, but nothing a little mama-snuggling and troubleshooting couldn’t fix (thank you nipple shield). She brings me so much joy and is such a happy baby. I feel lucky I get to be her mom.

2016 is going to have to work extra hard to top this year! That’s okay though cause I have big plans. 😉

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2015 was all about our journey as new parents, and my guess is every year of parenthood is a new learning process with curve balls and triumphs, so why should we expect anything less in 2016?!

Looking Inward

In the hustle and bustle of parenthood, I want to make 2016 a year for retrofitting and reinforcing the walls that make up my personal foundation. My goal is to rebuild my sense of self now that I’m a mom. It’s funny how much my perspective, style, and focus has shifted in such a short time! I don’t want to be that mom hiding from the camera and absent from the family album. I want to be a confident, healthy, and active role model for Ziva as she gets older and I’m willing to do the work to make that happen.

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Looking ahead together

As a family, 2016 is going to be another year of big change… Nope! We aren’t pregnant with #2. We are, however, preparing to make the big move to my home state of CALIFORNIA! The details are still in the works, but by summer of 2016 the little Lubetsky family of Ann Arbor will be heading west!

Happy Hanukkah 2015!

Happy Hanukkah to all who celebrate!

Happy Hanukkah!

We are having a family Hanukkah party tonight with my in-laws and I can’t wait for all of the firsts with baby Ziva and our nephew Asher (also born this year). I’ve gone a little crazy with the presents and am only now realizing that half of them say 3+ on the labels… Ziva will just have a head start I guess. Don’t worry, they don’t have small parts.
This morning I realized I should plan for a bit of a cheat meal tonight. Hanukkah is about the Jewish people’s triumph over oppressors and the miracle of oil lasting for 8 days when it was only enough to light the menorah in the temple for 1. Because of this symbolism, on Hanukkah we light candles for 8 nights and eat foods fried in oil. Delicious foods like potato latkes (fried potato pancakes) and jelly donuts 🍩… Yum!
With that in mind I was skeptical about finding a way to make traditional Hanukkah foods a little more health-friendly… If it’s not fried, how is it related to Hanukkah?! Well, if you are looking for something Hanukkah and goal friendly, try these baked Sweet Potato Latkes from the Beachbody Blog. I bet I could easily swap out some gluten-free ingredients to make them Sarah-friendly too. They may not be fried, or even gluten free but they sure look good!
Beachbody Blog Recipe for Potato Latkes

Beachbody Blog Recipe for Potato Latkes

My your Hanukkah be filled with light, love, and abundant joy.
Love,
Sarah

Labor Day Weekend 2015

We were in need of some time at home to work on projects and spend quality time with each other. Thank goodness for the long weekend! On Saturday we did a ton of normal errands, living room workout, and brought in big haul of greens for the 5 day clean eating challenge we’re kicking off this Tuesday.

Grocery haul

There’s still time to sign up if you are interested, by the way.

On Sunday a few of my friends came over to practice for their budding personal organization business. I’m so grateful to them for offering to practice on my closet because it was in dire straits. I’ve been maintaining multiple size wardrobes for a while and it has resulted in an overflowing closet and dressers. I made them an egg bake for brunch and they spent like 4 hours helping me cut through the clutter and clean out the excess.

They pulled out every piece of clothes I owned. Only a portion was allowed back in the closet.

They pulled out every piece of clothes I owned. Only a portion was allowed back in the closet.

The results? 6 bags of clothing on its way out the door! They even took it with them so I wouldn’t have a chance to pick back through it later. I’m telling you, if you ever have a chance to work with professional organizers it is so worth it! If you’d like a recommendation, shoot me a message and I’ll put you in touch. I just hope they want more practice soon because the nursery needs their help!

Sunday night we headed out to the in-laws for a get together with out of town family. Our new little nephew and Ziva had a great time practicing tummy time together. Ziva is really getting to the age where she notices and wants to interact with other babies. It’s pretty cute! Cousins

Today we were ready to get some exercise to burn off some of the treats from the night before. There are so many adorable neighborhoods here in Ann Arbor and we love going for walks to oogle the cute little houses and quaint family neighborhoods. Today we drove over to the old west side and took Brinkley and Ziva for a nice long walk. It’s pretty hot out, but there was a nice breeze.

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Ziva slept through most of the walk, but Brinkley was loving it! She loves taking walks in new places and she stops to mark EVERYWHERE. You’d think she was a boy dog.

At the end of our walk we stopped in at Argus Farm Stop for some coffee and water. I love the farm stop for their delicious drinks and fresh local produce. It’s a bonus that it’s also completely adorable.

Argus Farm Stop

Argus Farm Stop

Brinks waiting for daddy to come back out.

Brinks waiting for daddy to come back out.

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We’ve been trying to get out and active each weekend since we know the nice days are numbered with the fall closing in on us. Our holiday weekends may not look quite like they used to, but they’re wonderful all the same. As for tonight? Meal prep and the 21 Day Fix Dirty 30 workout for me.

Hope you all enjoyed your labor day holiday!

6 years ago today

6 years ago today, after 3 days of driving and many goodbyes, my mom and I arrived in Ann Arbor, Mi.

All I had was an old (unsmart) phone for pictures.

All I had was an old (unsmart) phone for pictures.

Seems like both yesterday and a lifetime ago. These last 6 years it’s seemed like life sped up. Here’s just a sampling of what’s gone down:

Who knows what will be coming next, but if the last six years are any indication, we’re in for an adventure.

Happy Michi-versary to me!

Sleep Struggles 

Little Ziva was born a champion sleeper. Well, after 5-6 weeks she became one and started sleeping for 5-7 hour stretches all on her own in the arms reach co sleeper. Then, about a month ago we caught colds and her mucus kept her up. Then I started back at work and she started daycare. Then the dreaded “4 month sleep regression” hit (also known as Wonder Week’s Leap 4). She started waking up earlier and earlier, and then multiple times a night. 

She was busting out of her swaddle and thrashing about. She took up the hobby of scratching the sheet and the wall of the cosleeper. Over and over and over. She wanted to nurse endlessly and so I started letting her lay with me to nurse and she’d sleep there part of the night. I was waking up constantly to make sure she was still breathing and to keep feeding her throughout the night. Nobody was getting good sleep anymore. I love the cuddles, but we need our sleep. 

So, last night she woke at midnight. I breastfed her and gave her another ounce or two of pumped milk from a bottle to fill her up fast and then I turned on the mobile and laid her down in a sleep sack IN HER OWN ROOM! I had planned on room sharing until she was six months, but I was willing to try anything last night to get a little more sleep (anything harmless, never cry it out). It took about 20 minutes of her rolling around and looking around (not fussing at all), and then she went to sleep! She was out by 1am and slept until 6:30am in her own crib in her own room! I’m not sure I’m ready for the separation, but I’m glad it worked at least for one night. 

  

Real thoughts I had during my daughters first night in Her own room:

Oh no, she’s nursing on the toy I forgot to remove from the crib. That’s really sad and now I feel like an awful mom for leaving something in the crib (not safe sleep protocol). I have to stay awake and make sure she is breathing cause I don’t want to wake her to move it. 

The video monitor image sort of reminds me of a horror movie. 

Oh shit; the front door is between our rooms. What if I see hands reaching into the crib picking her up? Now I have to stay awake and watch her because my waking nightmare has struck terror in my heart. We should put the baby gate back up and I should put bells on it so I can hear if anyone tries to come up the stairs into the apartment. 

What if this works? Does that mean the end of room sharing and snuggles? I already miss her….

Story Behind the Name

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I’ve always had a love for names. Since I was eight years old I kept a running list of names that I liked. I wanted to be prepared for the day when I would need to choose. Over the years the list was shaped by the different influences in my life. By the time we were expecting Ziva I had a robust list of boys names that I loved and only a few girls names that I liked. Here is the story of how we chose our little one’s name:

 

Pottery Barn pillow sham.

Pottery Barn pillow sham.

Ziva (Pronounced Zee-vah): I was set on a couple of names since the beginning of my pregnancy and assumed we would choose one of them once our little one arrived. My husband, on the other hand, was not  quite sold on the ones I had chosen. We discovered a Jewish baby naming app from Kveller.com and went through each name, from A-to-Z, reading them out loud to each other. When we got to the last name, Ziva, it just spoke to us. We experienced a loss with her first pregnancy about a month before we became pregnant with our Ziva. In Hebrew, Ziva means glow, brilliance, or light, and she is the ray of light and hope that came into our lives so soon after the loss. We waited until she arrived to be sure that she look like a Ziva. It fits her perfectly. She’s a calm, alert, and happy baby. So far we love calling her “Z” or “ZiZi” for short.

Pearl: Named for my paternal grandmother, Grandma Pearl was a character and a force of nature. She and I were very close and I always knew I wanted to name a daughter for her. Our little Ziva Pearl was born with strawberry blonde, reddish hair just like my grandma used to dye hers. It was meant to be! Ziva’s Hebrew name is Ziva Margalit (Margalit is Hebrew for Pearl), which I absolutely love.

On March 21st, Ziva’s 1 month birthday and Rosh Chodesh (the beginning of the month in the Hebrew calendar), we had a naming ceremony for her at the synagogue Brian grew up going to. During the Shabbat services, Brian and I were called to the bima for an aliyah and then the Rabbi blessed Ziva and we shared with the congregation the meaning behind the names we chose for her. Afterwards, Brian’s mother hosted a luncheon in the social hall for our guests. Though we were exhausted and happily delirious from our first month of parenting, it was a meaningful and love-filled day surrounded by friends and family as we welcomed Ziva into the covenant of our faith.

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The Smell of Dirt

Who’d have thought that one of the things I’d miss the most when I left California was the smell of dirt. Moist dirt under the leaves of a forest floor, warm dirt in the hot sun. There are so many memories linked to the smell of the soil in California that I long for… especially during the long winter months of Michigan.

Today we ventured out for a walk in the warm sunshine. The wind finally died down today, and we went for a long walk through the winding neighborhood across from our place.

Walking alongside a wooded area the breeze picked up the smell of the warm earth and dry leaves and it took me straight to my happy place.

It feels so good to be back outdoors. Turns out our neighborhood is a pretty nice one with winding paths through parks and green ways between quaint suburban streets. Since I was limited to seated activities most of last summer we really didn’t get to explore much. I can’t wait to keep taking baby Z out to explore and play as she grows! I’ve counted 4 playgrounds within a short walk from our place. Z will have plenty of options once she is old enough! For now she is exhausted from napping in the stroller-

Happy spring!