It Won’t Be Like This For Long

*I wrote this post back in 2015 when my oldest, Ziva, was a newborn. I never posted it because it felt cliche telling people “you’re gonna miss this” etc. that’s the last thing a mom struggling with baby blues or who is not into the newborn phase wants to hear. I just came across this post wasting away in my drafts folder and it struck me how much it is still true for me. It brought me to tears remembering how intensely I savored each moment of the early days as a mama. Even with baby number 2 I was too busy and distracted to fully indulge in those early days of drowsy couch nursing sessions and staring endlessly at the new life in my arms. I cry a little out of sadness for myself and Arielle that we didn’t get as much focused time together, and a little because the memory of the feelings in the early days of motherhood are still so strong- and true in each phase we’ve entered since. It all just goes too darn fast.

Even the hard parts of each stage just remind me how fast they are growing and changing, and how soon they won’t be my little babies anymore. Oh gosh, here come the waterworks again! Arielle is already 5 months old today and Ziva is 2 and a half. our newborn days may or may not be behind us forever now… so now more than ever I feel the truth in these words I wrote 2 and a half years ago. It’s okay if you’re not feeling the same way about newbornhood, but I know some mamas out there can appreciate these sentiments!

***

May 12, 2015

For some people the newborn phase can be pretty grueling. While I was pregnant I was preparing myself for the sleep deprivation, difficult crying sessions and all of the challenges of being a new mommy to a brand new little girl. But instead of finding myself wishing away our newborn days, I’ve found that I absolutely love it. If you aren’t feeling the same, don’t hate me, just hear me out.

Sure, I’m tired… I smell like spit-up (bile and sour milk), I’m pretty sure I have spit-up in my hair more often than not. I’m sweating from the heat of her little body constantly pressed up against mine. My wrist sometimes feels like it’s going to get stuck in one position from being squashed under her little head during long nursing and nap sessions. I can’t fit in most of my clothes still and I definitely am not feeling pretty. So, what has possessed my over-tired brain to make an outrageous declaration of love for this phase?

It’s going to be gone before I know it, in the blink of an eye I’ll be back at work missing these moments with a fierce nostalgia and love.

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