It Won’t Be Like This For Long

*I wrote this post back in 2015 when my oldest, Ziva, was a newborn. I never posted it because it felt cliche telling people “you’re gonna miss this” etc. that’s the last thing a mom struggling with baby blues or who is not into the newborn phase wants to hear. I just came across this post wasting away in my drafts folder and it struck me how much it is still true for me. It brought me to tears remembering how intensely I savored each moment of the early days as a mama. Even with baby number 2 I was too busy and distracted to fully indulge in those early days of drowsy couch nursing sessions and staring endlessly at the new life in my arms. I cry a little out of sadness for myself and Arielle that we didn’t get as much focused time together, and a little because the memory of the feelings in the early days of motherhood are still so strong- and true in each phase we’ve entered since. It all just goes too darn fast.

Even the hard parts of each stage just remind me how fast they are growing and changing, and how soon they won’t be my little babies anymore. Oh gosh, here come the waterworks again! Arielle is already 5 months old today and Ziva is 2 and a half. our newborn days may or may not be behind us forever now… so now more than ever I feel the truth in these words I wrote 2 and a half years ago. It’s okay if you’re not feeling the same way about newbornhood, but I know some mamas out there can appreciate these sentiments!

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May 12, 2015

For some people the newborn phase can be pretty grueling. While I was pregnant I was preparing myself for the sleep deprivation, difficult crying sessions and all of the challenges of being a new mommy to a brand new little girl. But instead of finding myself wishing away our newborn days, I’ve found that I absolutely love it. If you aren’t feeling the same, don’t hate me, just hear me out.

Sure, I’m tired… I smell like spit-up (bile and sour milk), I’m pretty sure I have spit-up in my hair more often than not. I’m sweating from the heat of her little body constantly pressed up against mine. My wrist sometimes feels like it’s going to get stuck in one position from being squashed under her little head during long nursing and nap sessions. I can’t fit in most of my clothes still and I definitely am not feeling pretty. So, what has possessed my over-tired brain to make an outrageous declaration of love for this phase?

It’s going to be gone before I know it, in the blink of an eye I’ll be back at work missing these moments with a fierce nostalgia and love.

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Honest Social Media

I’ve read a fair number of opinion pieces about how people lie on social media. Presenting an overly perfect, positive facade for the world, leading to feelings of inadequacy and envy in real-world moms. I don’t think anyone would accuse me of being one of those people (the missy McPerfectPants of the web). In fact, other than full-time bloggers staging a shoot with amazing lighting and perfect settings, and people who make a living off Instagram ads, I think most people are pretty real about their lives (or just don’t share very much). I mean, why would you want to share that your kitchen table is so covered in clutter you can’t use it?! Not that ours is… it is…Okay, it is, actually. 

Well, since I’m a chronic oversharer, I thought I’d give y’all a little glimpse of our imperfect paradise right now. I’ve only been sick a few days and my husband is keeping our heads above water as best he can, but the reality is that we are drowning in our own everyday mess right now. Super glamorous, I know. 

I’m sitting on my sofa, which has been peed on 2 times recently and puked on once by my sweet 2 year old angel. That’s right. We haven’t had covers on 2 of the cushions for a few weeks cause they’re dry clean only and we haven’t managed to take them in yet.

While I’ve managed to keep the laundry moving, (yay me!) there are perpetually about 3-5 loads worth sitting in laundry bins waiting to be folded and put away. 

Our floor is riddled with debris blown in from the patio.

We are in a losing battle with the dishes. 

No one will sleep. Alone. Through the night. I expect that from the baby, but come on 2 year old, you were doing so well? What happened?? 

So, there you have it. The glamorous reality we’re living in. I’m sure there are McPerfectPants out there thinking “I had 2, 2 and under and my floors were still clean.” Well, to you I say congratu-freaking-lations. Aren’t you special. 

Maybe in a few days (or weeks) we’ll have successfully crawled out from under this marvelous mess we’ve made… maybe we’ll be back with our heads safely above water and an only mildly gross living space, per usual. I know, the days are long but the years are short. This too shall pass, yadayadayada. 

Until then, in the words of Dory, “just keep swimming.” And, mediocre homemakers, over-tired mamas and papas, and even you McPerfectPants of the world, unite in honesty. Sometimes we’re all in a little over our heads.