“After silence, that which comes nearest to expressing the inexpressible is music.” – Aldous Huxley
During my pregnancy music spoke to me in a way that felt different, deeper than it had before. Maybe it was the hormones, maybe it was the feelings of excitement needing a way to release. Whatever the reason, I found myself notably calmed and centered by certain songs. I listened more closely, and more often than I have in years.
There was one song in particular that had it’s moment in my life during the last few weeks. The slow roll of the music, and the lyrics remind me of home (in the San Francisco Bay Area), wonder, and adventures of the soul. Van Morrison’s Into the Mystic:
“We were born before the wind
Also younger than the sun”
“Smell the sea and feel the sky
Let your soul and spirit fly into the mystic”
– Van Morrison
The last few days I’ve found myself looking for music to fit with where I am now, after our loss. The other night I found the song that feels most true to what I’m feeling now that we are in the process of moving forward with our lives. Lives that are still good, and full of wonderful things, just missing a small piece of what we had thought it would be. I already had it in my iTunes, but when I heard it tonight, it felt right. A Life that’s Good, featuring Lennon and Maisy. With lines like these, it speaks to what I’m feeling.
“Sitting here tonight, by the fire light
It reminds me I already have more than I should.”
“Sometimes I’m hard on me, when dreams don’t come easy
I wanna look back and say I did all that I could.
At the end of the day, Lord I pray
I have a life that’s good.”