Author: Sarah Lubetsky

Pregnancy: Weeks 6-7

Published on by Sarah Lubetsky3 Comments

Symptoms:

  • Metal cottonmouth (look it up, it’s a thing)
  • Waves of nausea
  • Feel super bloated
  • Tired and want my bed, husband, and puppy.
  • Waking up daily between 5am and 7am overheating, thirsty and nauseous

Chicken sounds gross, even though it was once a favorite, lettuce is hit or miss. Hard candies are a godsend (Organic Preggie Pop Drops) and sprite is my new friend.

Occasionally have to just stop what I’m doing and lay down. Even if it’s on the floor in my office for 3 minutes.

Food cravings: By end of the week nothing sounds better than an American cheese omelette, crunchy peanut butter on toast, or mint chip ice cream. Ps-I normally don’t eat American cheese or ice cream. I fought the mint chocolate chip craving feeling like it was too cliché… But by Saturday I gave in and had a little.

After experiencing a little spotting I freaked myself out and called the doctor. They sent me to get a blood pregnancy test and to test my hormone levels. After a day and a half of fear and unease, I got the results and everything looked as it should :-). We are definitely still pregnant.*

Our first ultrasound was scheduled for 7am Sunday Morning (they could have told me 3am, I’d have been there), and our OB intake appointment was set for Monday March 17th at 8am. We had to have the gestational diabetes screening at it’s first appointment because of my weight/height ratio, luckily it came back in an okay range. Because of the history if gestational diabetes among women in my family, that was a huge relief.

Everything turned out well with the test results, only my Vitamin D was low so I have been prescribed a supplement to take weekly along with my prenatal vitamins. It was nerve wracking having the early ultrasound, but it was incredible seeing the little bean in there with it’s yolk sac. I can’t believe that it is our baby.**

They say babies come in their own time. You can make plans, but they come when they are ready. Who would have guessed we’d get two pink positive lines in the same week that I got offered new job? Of course that’s how life is, you should know that by now! And so, we start this week 7 meeting future baby Lubetsky for the first time, and end it by saying good bye to a job I’ve called home for the last few years.

Sometimes change comes in indiscriminate increments, sometimes in seismic events.

*When we had the spotting I read that a percentage of women who experience spotting still go on to have healthy pregnancies… while I’m sure many do, I think this was our first hint that things might not end well…

**Looking back now, this was the only time we ever got to see it. Even that small I felt immediate love for it. It may have never come to grow into a “real” baby… but in that moment it was ours, and we loved it deeply. We weren’t given pictures from this ultrasound, but I will never forget seeing it floating there inside me. My heart is broken. 

Miscarriage: This past weekend Brian and I were excited, eager, expectant parents. As we approached 12 weeks, the end of the first trimester “risky window” we decided to begin sharing our happy news with a wider network of family and friends. It was perfect timing because we were at home in California visiting my family and some of his cousins for the week. Saturday evening, April 19th we experienced a miscarriage. It was an incredibly difficult experience (obviously) for many reasons which I want to share at some point down the road. I had begun to suspect something was going wrong earlier in the week, but we moved forward with things hoping it was all just part of the pregnancy journey.

Since I had begun writing about the pregnancy from the moment we found out, I decided it is important to still share our experience. I don’t want this to be a secret. I want to honor the experience and share it. It happened, it was real, and it hurts to know it is now over. This little spirit has moved on, but I will carry it forever in my heart.

Pregnancy- Weeks 0-5

Published on by Sarah Lubetsky1 Comment

This past weekend Brian and I were excited, eager, expectant parents. As we approached 12 weeks, the end of the first trimester “risky window” we decided to begin sharing our happy news with a wider network of family and friends. It was perfect timing because we were at home in California visiting my family and some of his cousins for the week. Saturday evening, April 19th we experienced a miscarriage. It was an incredibly difficult experience (obviously) for many reasons which I want to share at some point down the road. I had begun to suspect something was going wrong earlier in the week, but we moved forward with things hoping it was all just part of the pregnancy journey.

Since I had begun writing about the pregnancy from the moment we found out, I decided it is important to still share our experience. I don’t want this to be a secret. I want to honor the experience and share it. It happened, it was real, and it hurts to know it is now over. This little spirit has moved on, but I will carry it forever in my heart.

PregnancyWeek0-5_ReadySetSarahBlog

Weeks 0-5

Positive test: Feb 26, 2014

Symptoms:
  • Stretching in lower abs (sharp pain across sides of lower abs- I looked it up and it is round ligament stretching).
  • Having to go pee often, and it seems to creep up out of nowhere!
  • Craving beef. I usually prefer chicken breast (and only chicken breast).
  • I’m winded easily (I didn’t think I was THAT out of shape).
  • Burping a lot.
  • Headaches.
  • Hot flashes (hot burning face).
  • Acne cleared rather than appeared at period time.
  • Weird new dry skin patches. I thought it was my psoriasis acting up, but it turns out eczema is a somewhat common pregnancy symptom. I got a big patch on my chest, and smaller ones on my shoulder and the small of my back.
  • Fatigue. I mean, sleeping on the floor behind my desk, practically feel drugged after lunch, fatigue.

How we found out:
I took the test right after getting off the phone with my cousin (more like a big brother) Jonathan. He kept asking “what else is going on?” “Any big news?” I wanted to tell him “I think I might be expecting!” But of course, I didn’t. I couldn’t stand to wait any more once we hung up the phone. I had to take a test to know for sure (and so there would be any chance of concentrating the next day at work). We had been trying for a few months, and I was counting the days until my period was officially late. The day had finally arrived.

Brian and I had decided I would test that night to put an end to my excited nervous guessing (I could barely get a thing done at work that day). Through tracking my period with an iPhone app, I learned that my cycle is usually 32 days  (meaning that when my period appears to be four days late, it actually right on time). That’s something new I hadn’t realized before we started trying to conceive. Because if my longish cycle I wanted to delay testing until I was at least a little later than usual, even though I had a few hints what might be going on. I always felt a little foolish testing and getting a negative, like maybe I had convinced myself of something that wasn’t really there…

I have had plenty of “false” symptoms in previous months while trying, but this month I had a dream the week after ovulation. In the dream I was two months pregnant and I could feel my belly, big under my hands. I kept running my hands down my stomach, feeling the roundness under my shirt. I don’t remember the details of what else was going on in the dream, but over the course I became more and more pregnant. I’ve never had such a physically vivid sensation of being pregnant in a dream before.* Looking back now, in the dream I was in an elevator at some point around month 2-4 and the somehow it started spinning around, and knocking me around. I was upset in the dream and kept yelling, “But I’m pregnant! Stop!” I didn’t think much about it at the time, but now looking back after the loss, it gives me the chills.

The only other month that I had a pregnancy dream I had taken a test in the dream and showed it to Brian, telling him I was pregnant. I had 2 or 3 of those dreams that week… but then got my period that Saturday. It was not a false alarm though! That Sunday my sister called out of the blue to announce her pregnancy! Now, if all goes well, we’re going to have our babies 5-6 months apart! Crazy how things happen. We actually found out on the same day that one of our groomsmen’s wives had his baby!

When I took the test Brian was in the other room on the phone with his parents. I snuck away to the bathroom and nervously took the test. Unlike previous tests, I wasn’t left waiting long. As the liquid crept up the test window immediately a faint second pink line began to appear. I was in awe! “Is this real life? Is it all starting now?”

I stuck the test stick back into the box and hid it behind my back. I signaled to Brian asking him to hang up the phone, and when he did I told him I had a present for him. He knew right away, I could tell by the look on his face, and when I handed him the box and he took out the test we both laughed, and cried and hugged and practically jumped up and down.

Now we are ready to make plans, learn as much as possible, make appointments, and do our very best to keep the happiest secret I’ve ever held.
Our due date (screenshot from birthcenter.com)
Our due date (screenshot from birthcenter.com)

 

The Unbearable Weight of Nothing

Published on by Sarah Lubetsky11 Comments

UnbearableWeight_ReadySetSarahBlog

11 weeks and 6 days
cramping
spotting
aching
bleeding
loss

I carried you, like a promise.
I felt you depart.
A sudden awareness of absence.
The wanting and the wishing, all that remains.
A reluctant member of the semi-secret sisterhood of loss.
Your father, like a rock, an anchor to sanity and strength.
Your family all around you.
Barely here, but already gone.

 

SeaBreezePark_ReadySetSarahBlog

To read the full story of our miscarriage, start here.

Northern Michigan Adventure Day 1

Published on by Sarah Lubetsky2 Comments

My mother came to town last weekend and we took a little get away to Traverse City and Petoskey!

We drove from here to here!
We drove from here to here!

The Ride Up
On the way up north there were occasional snow flurries at first, but once we got past the cement and clutter of suburbia it was an enjoyable pastoral scene. We made a few rest stops, and as we got further north the blustering winds really started to pick up.

My patient husband, holding on tight to the wheel, navigated us through as the snow got heavier and the wind stronger. At points where there were open fields along the roadside, the wind, uninterrupted by barns or tree banks, whipped up over the road blinding and tossing us about.
Snowy ride. (image by readysetsarah)
Snowy ride. (image by readysetsarah)
Lunch in Traverse City
After hours of white knuckle driving, we arrived in Traverse City safe and sound. Brian has a good friend who lives in town with his wife and toddler and he recommended we dine at Amical on Front Street.
Front Street Traverse City (image by ReadySetSarah)
Front Street, Traverse City (image by ReadySetSarah)
Like most adorable vacation towns, Traverse City has a great walkable downtown district, with the main drag along Front Street, just off of the lake. In the summer all of the Northern Michigan vacation towns are crawling with people, but this time of year it’s easy to get a table pretty much anywhere. Yelp rated Amical as $$$, but had we not gotten drinks with our lunches it would have been reasonably priced. It was certainly delicious. Brian ranked the Amical Reuben among his favorites he’s had, and thought the pasta salad it came with was a great match. I had the chicken Caesar. As far as Caesar salads go, it was good. The dressing  was tasty and had a bit more mustard flavor than usual (I use mustard powder in my Caesar dressing, but this had a strong mustard flavor). My mom got the special pumpkin seed encrusted whitefish on a bed of wild rice with arugula salad. We all cleared our plates and seemed to really enjoy it. Amical had a sweet atmosphere, good food, and a nice location. I would definitely recommend it!
After lunch we went for a brief, blustery stroll on front street. Even covered in snow and whipped by wind this place has the charm. We popped into Cherry Republic (for those who don’t know, cherry republic is a staple of northern Michigan offering a bevy of tart cherry products ranging from chocolate covered cherries, to cherry salsa and barbecue sauce). We chatted a bit with the shopkeeper, I was so pleased by his good nature and welcoming attitude. He explained to us about how Northern Michigan produces about a 3rd of the tart cherries either nationally or globally (check that), and about how 2 crops ago the early thaw and re-freeze led to loss of crops. Polish cherries came to the rescue, which is why a sign of gratitude to Poland hangs in the shop. We left with a bag of dark chocolate cherries and a jar of original cherry salsa (two of my favorites).
Next we stopped into a clothing shop, Glicks, which I had been in when we visited Frankfurt, Michigan a few years ago (link to post). Glicks is a trendy but sort of funky-cool boutique with reasonable prices and some great finds. The young woman tending shop was also a great personality and fun to talk to. My mom and I both picked up some fleece lined leggings, and I got some uber cool patterned leggings.
Crazy pants. Literally, the softest leggings ever.
Crazy pants. Literally, the softest leggings ever.
Overall, the shop keepers were all super nice, friendly, and funny (unlike the snobbish treatment I’ve received in some California vacation towns). Even the barista at a local coffee shop we ducked into to use the restroom was all smiles and conversation. This has been my experience in most of the shops we’ve gone to in Northern Michigan towns over the last few years. I love it up here! It’s beautiful, and the people are awesome.
Filling Station
We checked into the townhouse at the Traverse Bay Inn in the late afternoon ready for a nap. For the price, you can’t go wrong with this place. Our room had a small entry/lounging area with a studio style kitchen. The upstairs bedroom was cozy with two full size beds. And the downstairs bedroom had a queen and quaint view of snow-covered trees.
We met up with Brian’s buddy Dave, and is family for dinner at the  at the Filling Station Microbrewery. The restaurant is cozy, and in what looks like an old train station. My mom and I were delighted to find that they had great gluten-free pizza. We shared on with basil oil, and an out of control sweet s’mores desert pizza  (minus the graham cracker crumble. It’s not  a gf kitchen, but we did ok (no cross contamination sickness). The pizza was really good, Brian enjoyed his regular (non-gf) pizza too. Good prices, “very good” beer (according to Brian), delicious food and a creative menu. Again, the staff was friendly. For how cold it is up here, Up North is warming on me.
Old Friends
Old Friends
The Filling Station
The Filling Station

Filling Station2

Acupuncture and Meditation

Published on by Sarah LubetskyLeave a comment

I’ve finally done it. I am official practicing meditation for one 45-60 minute session a week. It’s not much, but it’s a start.

It started with the longest, driest winter ever. This is not good weather for someone with psoriasis and a system prone to inflammation. With zero moisture in the air (I may be exaggerating, that is not a scientific assessment), the small patches on my elbow and behind my ears were getting more and more out of hand. I’ll spare you the flakey, burning, painful details. To summarize, it ain’t pretty and it doesn’t feel good either.

A while back I had given the local acupuncture clinic a try, with much encouragement from my mother, but never made a regular commitment to going. I like it at the Community Acupuncture Clinic in Ferndale. There is a calm and warm ambiance, like a relaxing yoga studio. Sharing the room with the other people receiving treatment makes it less scary than it would be alone in a more clinical room. I like the idea of other people being present, all in a resting state with calm breathing (sometimes punctuated by snores). As my inflammation got worse, and my skin became less and less tolerable this winter, I decided it was time to really give acupuncture a real committed try.

I can’t speak on the results yet, but I’ll share once I’m further along in my journey. What I have found is that my weekly acupuncture session is the perfect time and place to practice mindfulness meditation.

Once the needles are in and I’m reclining in my lazy boy (the acupuncture room is all lazy boy recliners in a big circle around the room), I settle in to stillness. Partially out of not wanting to disturb the needles poking out of me, but also because after a long day of work, the best and hardest thing in the world to do is be still and calm.

As time goes on I hope to start practicing at home too, and more often. But a start is a start and I’m feeling good already.

The Backyard Sessions

Published on by Sarah LubetskyLeave a comment

Trolling YouTube I discovered a few gems from none other than Miley Cyrus. I’m not going to knock her for her current stylistic choices, I haven’t been paying close enough attention to develop a solid opinion on it anyways, but I think this style is where her gruff, raspy, but strong voice shines. Plus, it’s hard to go wrong with songs this good and a talented band.

In this series they’ve named The Backyard Sessions, Miley belts out some country classics while the breeze wisps her loose hairs. It’s a nice scene that seems almost natural, though from the look of it and the clarity of the sound it must be pretty high production (where’s the breeze in the mic sounds, huh?). Either way, I like the selections Miley.

Jolene, written and originally performed by Dolly Parton

Lilac Wine by James Shelton

What I learned from my Up Band by Jawbone

Published on by Sarah LubetskyLeave a comment

It would be hard to miss the fact that I am parked on my bum a lot. I mean, a lot.

Lack of physical activity is inevitable with long work days as a desk jockey, a long daily commute, and computer based hobbies. Add in the fact that it’s too cold and/or snowy, or suffocatingly humid many months of the year here in Michigan, and that activity level starts running pretty close to nil.

I’ve always loved physically active hobbies: hiking, swimming, turbo kick, riding my bike around town, etc. And, for a while there before graduate school, before moving to a state with only a few short months of what I consider “quality outdoor activity weather,” I actually did these things on a pretty regular basis. It sounds like a bucket of excuses (it is), but in my present life, these things are just a bit more challenging to fit in, or aren’t readily available options most of the year.

Everything that comes with the Jawbone Up Band. The charging cord plugs into the iPhone charger base. (Image by Ready Set Sarah)
Everything that comes with the Jawbone Up Band. The charging cord plugs into the iPhone charger base. (Image by Ready Set Sarah)

Combining my love of gadgets, lifestyle iPhone Apps, and health maintenance tools, the idea of using a wearable activity tracker like the Up Band was a natural step. I’m a little late on the bandwagon, and believe me, despite my desire to be an early adopter I have a budget to mind so it took me a little while to convince myself it was worth the splurge. At about $129 retail it wasn’t going to be an impulse buy.*

*The new Up Band 3.0 (Up24) retails at $149 and has bluetooth synching unlike my older model which requires plugging in to the iPhone jack.

I started looking seriously in the summer of 2013 after seeing a coworker wearing the super snazzy mint colored band. She told me about how much her whole family enjoyed using their bands to encourage and hold each other accountable (they are all able to connect and see each others activities on the App), and about what she liked and didn’t like about her band, and after reading a few reviews online about the alternatives, I decided I would go with the Jawbone Up Band as well.

The Up Band (Image by Ready Set Sarah)
The Up Band (Image by Ready Set Sarah)

What I learned.

  • I have an impossibly sedentary lifestyle. No wonder even when I’m eating right I can’t lose weight! Unless I intentionally tack on a few bursts of activity (like walking for 30 minutes at lunch, or going to the gym after work), it’s nearly impossible for me to reach the 10,000/daily recommended steps for healthy living! On work days when I have  many meetings, miss the lunch walk, and have board meetings after work, I can get as low as 3,000-4,000 steps! THAT’S LESS THAN HALF THE RECOMMENDED STEPS. Damn. Wake up call. If I’m going to be active and healthy, it’s going to have to be intentional, planned and in addition to my daily activities, cause they just aren’t cutting it. Seeing a low little 4k at the end of the day is just the wake up call I need to get back up and out the door to the gym to try to at least reach 8k!
  • My effort level in exercise is low. I typically select exercise that involves pretty low impact, and I’ve now learned, low effort. I guess part of it is stamina, the other part is laziness. I definitely need some sort of external push to make me move my booty… if left to my own devices, I just don’t push that hard. I don’t know how accurate the effort rating is on the Up Band, and an “easy” effort level for the Up Band may not feel that way to me. It’s good to know though, so that I know I need to push myself harder.
  • I need to go to bed earlier. Though I’ve heard that the sleep monitoring in the Up Band has questionable usefulness when it comes to analyzing quality of sleep (there are four stages in sleep and the band only reports deep and light sleep), it is interesting to see what my sleep looks like. From what I can tell, I have longer and more periods of deep sleep in the hours before midnight than I do in the hours between midnight and rising. So, I decided this means I should be heading to bed a little earlier if I want to get some high quality sleep in before the alarm.
  • In-put vs. Out-put. The iPhone app for the Up Band syncs with MyFitnessPal, the app that I was already using to track my diet and exercise manually. Linking these two together gave me a clearer picture of what my caloric in-put and out-put really looks like on a daily basis.

What bugs me.

  • The band is a bit bulky, and gets caught in my sleeves.
  • Seems like all of the good colors sold out.
  • The light grey band I ordered is the color of old school computer equipment (tan-ish grey dullness), not a pretty white-ish grey that it appears on-screen.
  • Part of the fun of wearable technology is comparing your data to your friends through the apps. If you don’t know enough people with the device to compare, encourage and compete with, and the initial intrigue of the data itself starts to ware off, the device starts to lose its appeal.
  • The Up Band doesn’t have an adjustable strap. Sure, it isn’t a set closure with a set width, but during that time of the month when I’m bloated and retaining water the band can start to dig in, leaving an imprint in my puffy arm. Maybe I should have gone with a bigger size to allow for the expansion, but it would be nice if it could just adjust.
  • Sharp edge on the button side. I’ve scratched myself on the corner of the square button end of the band a few times, and scratched my husband at least once. I would love it if future models rounded the corners out just a little bit.
The sharp button edge on the Up Band. (Image by Ready Set Sarah)
The sharp button edge on the Up Band. (Image by Ready Set Sarah)

Ultimately, did I need a device to tell me I need to get a move on? Probably not. But, having  external data helps me determine exactly what I need to be doing to change my outcomes. Why am I not losing weight? Why am I so darn sleepy? Now I know, and I can figure out the different small ways I can change my behavior to get the outcomes I want. Plus, I get to geek out on the data about myself. Definitely worth the money in my eyes.

What about the FitBit?

My job is now offering a deal with FitBit, and I’m thinking I might give the Force or Flex a try for comparison. I’ll let you know if I do it. The up side with the FitBit products are that they are a tiny bit less bulky (I tried one on), and they have an adjustable strap. I haven’t heard much about the app that goes with it, but I have heard of skin irritations from the Force, and that concerns me a bit since I have sensitive skin. I do like the idea of the LED display on the Force. I always look down at my Up Band expecting to see the time displayed, so that is a definite perk of the Force! Plus it comes in some pretty snazzy colors.

Let Them Tell You No

Published on by Sarah Lubetsky4 Comments
Take a chance. Photo by ReadySetSarah
Take a chance. Photo by ReadySetSarah

When it comes to career, life and taking chances, don’t take yourself out of the running. Give “them”- whoever “them” is- a chance to tell you no. You might be surprised how often you get a yes.

Among my close female friends and colleagues we all talk frequently about what we are passionate about, what innovative, creative and meaningful ideas we have for what we would like to do with our lives and our careers. But, rarely do we take steps towards those dreams. When a pathway opens that could get us one step closer we talk ourselves out of it, or fail to recognize the opportunity.

I have been in way too many conversations with friends where they (or I) have talked ourselves out of going for an opportunity, or trying something we think we’ll like (promotion, new position, long coveted hobby or skill etc.). We sit there listing off the reasons we probably aren’t qualified or ready for it, questioning our reasoning for why we actually might be qualified, or lamenting why we cannot change what we are already doing because we are comfortable or someone depends on us, etc. We can easily see the the fault in each others method/logic, yet we can all recall times we have fallen prey to this kind of thinking.

Why do we take ourselves out of the game before we’ve even had a chance to see if we can win? Why are we so afraid to try and fail? Why do we feel obligation to others, making decisions that aren’t in our best interest or what we really want?

I know not every woman falls into these behaviors, and those who do, may not do so all the time. I’m also sure there must be men who can relate too.

We need to practice articulating our skills and experience without qualifiers and passivity. We need to stop thinking we aren’t good enough, capable, or ready to do what we want or to try something new. We need to start consistently and strategically taking chances to get what we want and where we want to be. Failure is an opportunity to learn. Rejection leads to reflection. We have to take chances to get where we want to be.

Saudade

Published on by Sarah Lubetsky3 Comments

Saudade
(a Portuguese word meaning an ineffable longing for something lost in time).

Does a place ever call to you, like it has fingers reaching out to you from across the miles and memories?

Has your soul ever found root in the damp rich soil, or between the cracked concrete of a place now long out of reach?

Does the breeze ever waft with tales of people and days long forgotten?

Do you ever close your eyes, breathing in the rich cadmium sunlight, and think to yourself, “to return to there, would be to return to my soul,”?

Image by Ready Set Sarah
Saudade –  on the ReadySetSarah.com (image by Ready Set Sarah)

Polar Vortex Days

Published on by Sarah Lubetsky1 Comment

Happy Polar Vortex days! Otherwise known as snow days around here. Nothing like being a shut-in for days and days with my Beau and pup!

After a low-key couple weeks full of days off, work from home and general laziness, I was more than ready to brave the record low temps and ice coated roads to get a little time in at the office. Most of the Metro Detroit region seemed to take the snow day yesterday, but today it was back to the grind for many of us, despite the dangerously low temps.

My eyes are cold. Image by Ready Set Sarah
My eyes are cold. It’s warmed up to -2! Image by Ready Set Sarah

I was born in northern New Hampshire, but never in my adult memory do I recall feeling this level of cold. It’s cold enough to make your eyes sting like pin pricks just walking to the car. This photo round-up pretty much describes what we are going through- http://mashable.com/2014/01/07/polar-vortex-photos/?utm_cid=mash-com-fb-main-link

I’ve read that at temperatures this cold (below – 10 degrees at times and wind chills of as low as -40), the salt we usually use to melt the ice on the roads isn’t as effective. That helps explain the slow motion sliding-to-a-stop I experienced all the way to work.

Even though it’s annoying to have to take 10 minutes bundling and layering just to go outside, even though I miss walking around outside, even though I MISS MEXICO….there are a few things I love about a real, snowy, frigid winter:

1) Dressing up our fur baby and watching her frolic in the deep snow

2) Seeing the way the landscape changes after the snow fall and wind.

snowdrift_readysetsarah
Snow drift. Image by Ready Set Sarah

3) The stillness and quiet in the middle of the storm. Snowstorms are a silent, beautiful thing.

4) Basking in the warmth of home, safe and cozy, watching the snow float outside.

5) Binge watching TV series, reading and playing online without feeling guilty!

6) Getting to say “Polar Vortex” in everyday conversation like we’re in a sci-fi action flick (This whole list was just so I could say it again).